Matric Peer Guide and Fundraising Coordinator
Often, when we make decisions, we are filled with conviction:
“I’m going to study for two hours every single night!”
“I’m not eating refined sugar ever again!!”
“I’m going to run five kilometers every single Saturday!!!”
Some people…actually very few people... are successful at following the above self commands. For example, you have so much homework that your study timetable cannot be adhered to. You eat birthday cake at your friend’s party. Or, you wake up on Saturday morning and cannot face putting on your running shoes. And, then what happens is you have broken your self promise. It pretty much feels like the end of the world, and that pursuing the promise further is worthless. You are a failure.You are weak-willed, stupid, unmotivated, unsuccessful and lazy - wow! Stop the train of self-loathing.
Have you perhaps considered that your expectations were too high?
You were implementing a new habit in your life, but rather than easing yourself into it, you threw yourself head first into the deep end without a plan of action or a life jacket. You have given yourself a task that is impossible! However, do not worry, and most importantly please do not beat yourself up; instead, take three deep breaths.
We are all guilty of having aspirations for ourselves, without remembering that we are creatures of habit, and that it is extremely difficult to change. If you are wanting to implement change into your life, consider these questions:
This line of thinking can be applied, not only to habit formation, but in changing your attitude towards school, society in general, or even your dog - who likes eating your shoes.
The crux of the matter is that we are our own worst critics, and are the biggest reason why we do not improve our lives in the ways that we wish. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself, to be kind to yourself, and to improve your own experience of life through compassion, and not at the detriment of your self-esteem.